When strong emotions like resentment, anger, or frustration arise, they often feel justified. But have you ever questioned whether these thoughts are absolutely true?
Byron Katie’s Four Questions, known as The Work, offer a powerful method for investigating deeply held beliefs that cause suffering.
In this article, we’ll apply this process to a real-life example: resentment toward a yoga teacher who appears hypocritical and condescending. By working through these four questions, we can uncover a deeper truth—and perhaps even find peace.
The Situation: Why Resentment Arises
A student in a meditation teacher training course feels intense anger and frustration toward their yoga instructor. The reasons for their resentment include:
- The teacher has poor posture despite teaching yoga.
- The teacher was the only person to arrive late on the first day of class, yet tells students not to be late.
- The teacher assumes superiority, overlooking that some students may have deeper Buddhist knowledge than she does.
The student experiences judgment and resistance toward the teacher’s behavior, feeling that it is hypocritical and unjust.
Applying Byron Katie’s Four Questions
1. Is It True?
The first question invites us to simply examine the belief at face value.
👉 “My yoga teacher is hypocritical and thinks she is superior to the students.”
Ask yourself: Is this 100% true? Is there no possibility that you are seeing things through your own lens?
At first, the answer might be “Yes! It’s obvious. She is hypocritical.” But let’s go deeper.
2. Can You Absolutely Know That It’s True?
This question asks us to challenge the certainty of our belief.
✔️ Can you absolutely know that the teacher thinks she is superior?
✔️ Is it possible that she is unaware of how she comes across?
✔️ Could her lateness have had a valid reason?
✔️ Could her posture be affected by past injuries or personal struggles?
When we slow down and examine the assumptions beneath our emotions, we may realize she had no ill intent. We often don’t have the full story. What we see is filtered through our personal experiences, expectations, and biases.
3. How Do You React When You Believe That Thought?
This is where we examine the emotional and physical impact of holding onto the belief.
✔️ How do you feel in your body when you think, “My teacher is hypocritical”?
✔️ Do you feel tense? Angry? Defensive?
✔️ Does this thought bring you peace or suffering?
✔️ How does it affect your attitude toward the class? Toward learning?
When we hold onto a negative belief, we suffer. Our bodies tense up, our minds become restless, and we close ourselves off from openness, learning, and presence.
4. Who Would You Be Without That Thought?
This question invites us to imagine a world where we do not believe the thought.
❓ What if you could sit in class without the story that your teacher is hypocritical or superior?
❓ What if you simply noticed her actions without judgment?
❓ How would your experience shift?
Without the thought, you might feel:
✔️ Lighter and more at ease
✔️ More open to learning—even from imperfect teachers
✔️ Less emotionally drained
✔️ More compassionate, recognizing that everyone (including teachers) has flaws
This doesn’t mean you excuse her behavior. But without the mental resistance, you’re free to choose a more peaceful response.
The Turnaround: Shifting Perspective
After questioning a thought, Byron Katie suggests turning it around in different ways to see new perspectives.
Turnaround 1: “I Am Being Hypocritical.”
🔄 Instead of focusing on the teacher, ask: Is there any way I am being hypocritical?
- Am I judging her while expecting not to be judged?
- Do I also fail to meet my own high standards at times?
- Am I assuming superiority in thinking I know more than she does?
Turnaround 2: “The Teacher Is Not Superior—She Is Just a Person.”
🔄 What if the teacher is just a flawed human being, doing her best?
- Perhaps her lateness was unintentional.
- Perhaps her posture is not perfect, but she still has knowledge to offer.
- Perhaps she struggles with her own insecurities but masks them with confidence.
Turnaround 3: “I Can Learn From This Teacher Despite Her Flaws.”
🔄 Instead of resisting, ask: What can I gain from this experience?
- Learning patience and tolerance.
- Observing how my mind reacts to judgment.
- Finding wisdom in unexpected places.
Freedom Through Inquiry
Resentment and judgment create suffering—not for the person we judge, but for ourselves. Byron Katie’s The Work allows us to examine deeply held beliefs, freeing us from the unnecessary pain they cause.
By questioning our thoughts:
✔️ We loosen the grip of anger and frustration.
✔️ We develop self-awareness and emotional intelligence.
✔️ We find peace in situations that once disturbed us.
The next time resentment arises, take a breath and ask: “Is it true?”
You may discover that the real source of suffering is not the situation, but the story you tell yourself about it. And that story can always be rewritten.
